Most of us think a date happens when it happens. But if you think of the date as starting much earlier than that when you first meet the girl and start to get to know her, that puts you in a great position to learn more about her long before you have to commit to an actual romantic outing.
The truth is except when you are set up for a date and meet her for the first time that night, most of the time the act of dating starts with flirtation long before you formally go out. And if you use that time before the date in a smart way, your chances of having a great evening with her are much better.
So start viewing the "date" as underway even when you meet her for the first time and gently start to chat socially and mildly flirt. The only real difference is that in your mind, you are on the path to a date and you are intentional about learning all you can before you say "will you go out with me" to her. This is valuable time you can use to your advantage if you use it well.
The common setting you and the girl you have your eye on is a great place to strike up an acquaintance and then a friendship. If you know the girl through work or school or a shared social scene where you are both relaxed, that's ideal. Since you probably both share other friends there, it's very easy to get introduced and to learn more about each other in a group setting. These "group dates" are relaxed and at ease and a great way to casually start a relationship building that may lead to dating and romance.
This is the kind of setting where a casual conversation can allow you to ask some of those early questions that will be so important in making that decision on whether to even ask this girl on the first date. By getting some of that early "espionage" out of the way, you dramatically reduce the chance of having a "first date nightmare" that so many guys experience and never want to go through again. The truth is that other than a flat tire or someone getting sick or hurt, most first date disasters happen when something comes out in the relationship that dooms the chance of a romance. And the worst part is that if this happens early in the evening, the rest of the date can be tremendously awkward.
Obviously one of the things you will skilfully ask about as you build up toward the first date is whether she is even eligible for dating. So finding out about her dating status and any other issues that may block a future social outing with you can save you that unpleasant experience of asking a great girl on a date and getting turned down.
This "friendship" stage is also a good time to find out some general information that would have a big impact on the success of a date and the hopes for a relationship. Differences between you and her in religion, politics or racial or cultural bias issues can be easily flushed out in a casual discussion which can help you make a decision about whether to ask her out and what kinds of thing would qualify as a good date experience for the girl you have your eye on.
Along with these other important areas of research your informal time with her can yield, there is this hard to pin down thing called "chemistry" that can make or break your romance with her. You can find out if you sense that attraction growing between you and if you both have enough in common for a strong launch of the relationship. And if you know before you pick her up for the first date that this relationship may be a keeper, that is going to make that first romantic night together even more fun and exciting.
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